If you're anything like me when I was younger, I would look to the future and worry about not knowing what I wanted out of life and feeling lost. I went to classes every day and found my mind wandering to things that had no connection to what I was learning, and before I knew it class was over. Ever since the fourth grade, I have struggled with keeping focus. I wasn’t excited about the topics I was being taught in school. I didn’t know something I thought was a struggle would help me find my passion in life.
One day I picked up my pencil - not to write or answer questions - but to create. I started to overlap lines and shade until I finally stepped back from my new creation and felt happiness.
As my confidence grew, so did my materials. Regular pencils soon turned into colored pencils, then pens, then markers, and finally into the paint. My painting is more complex, with little details some may not think to apply like the trees, with every wisp of the bush the tree gets fuller and “becomes a happy little friend.” I didn’t like finishing my paintings, so I would continue to put little details into my trees or into the water. My life changed- I knew my purpose and what I wanted out of life, I wanted to paint. Now, when I told my parents they looked at me with confusion because, let’s face it, “that's not a career”, but I didn’t care what they had to say because it’s more than just a career, it’s a lifestyle.
Every day, I would walk up to my canvas and create. I would pick up my brush and as soon as it hit the new canvas, I felt a waterfall of relief. With the sway of my brush came all my troubles and worries, once my brush came off the canvas my worries and troubles disappeared almost as if the brush took them and threw them out.
I never liked finishing a painting, however, I loved starting a new one. Walking up to a blank white canvas and knowing that I will soon change it into a lively picture with water that has moved even though it’s still, black birds flying around the blue skies scattered with white cotton ball clouds.
Not everyone will find their purpose in life as quickly as I did, but I do believe that everyone will find what they are meant to do because that’s what life’s for. You walk through life aimlessly, you will fail but you will also get back up and repeat the process. Eventually, you will reach something that you won’t fail at.
I have found that life is like a painting, you must step back from it every once in a while to see where you're at and what needs fixing. Life can also relate to a painting in the sense that it starts blank, and you paint your own picture and you maneuver your way their life, there will be times that you want to go back and change it but no painting is reversible. when you finally complete it reveals a beautiful picture that tells a wonderful story.
As I always say, “we don’t make mistakes, just happy little accidents.” So, go and make your own little accidents and you too will find your way in life.
Shout outs
All my teachers- thank you for always believing in me, and finally art- thank you for saving me, showing me that I have a purpose and I am someone who deserves to be rewarded.
Mikas- thanks for being the favorite child.
Mom- thank you for always having my back and helping me figure out who I am.
Dad- thanks for always pushing and thank you for always making sure that if I fall I get back up on my own, you’ve taught me how to be myself and how to push myself to work hard to accomplish my goals.