I went to the same school for more than half my life, from kindergarten to eighth grade I was at a Waldorf school. It was nice in the beginning but as I got older I grew unhappy with the way that things were taught. Drawing, painting, and being creative were very important curricula.
One could say I have been drawing for my entire life, but I don't think I was passionate about it until seventh grade. In seventh grade, I started to get depressed, I thought many negative things about myself; I was drowning in self-hatred and resentment. The only reason I didn't end up ending it all was because of my family. Thankfully, I ended up saving myself by picking up an interest in art. I never thought that art could be something more than just an assignment. I could create art the way I wanted- freely. Then in the middle of my freshman year, Covid hit. In the beginning, it was hard but as the days turned into weeks, and the weeks turned into months I started to thrive. I could spend more time doing art, I got into games again, and I started to study new languages. I was feeling great about myself.
Then in 2020, I moved to PV. There was a debate about where I should go to school when covid was done. Did I want to drive 40 minutes depending on traffic every day to get to school? Not really, I know people do it all the time but I need my sleep. We started looking at schools around my area, then my mom told me about RHP and I just agreed.
A few months later my junior year started. I remember not feeling as nervous as I thought I would feel walking in on the first day of school. The first few days were hard, but I ended up meeting people and making friends which made my experience more bearable. As time went on I started to feel depressed again. I felt alone, and like I was causing problems for the people around me. I hated feeling like that again, I was disappointed that I let myself go back into feeling hopeless. I decided I was fed up. I was done feeling like this. I was done hurting people, and I was done disappointing everyone.
That impulsive decision was the most influential decision I think I had ever made. It brought me to a place that had people similar to me and were feeling emotions that resembled what I was feeling. I lived there with strangers for three to four months. It was a space that was supposed to teach me and keep me safe. All though I hated it, I think I learned useful skills. I spent a lot of time drawing and studying art whenever I had free time. When I was finally discharged it was 2 days before Christmas. I remember feeling a little weird being back home and sleeping in my bed for the first time in months. Going back to school was difficult. I missed a lot of class time, so I was a little lost and overwhelmed. Thankfully, I had a lot of support inside and out of the classroom.
Almost a year later I finally made it to senior year. Looking back at my old art and my younger self, I am very proud of my development. Seventh-grade me would have never thought I would have made it to senior year. Moreover, I have been accepted to a very prominent art school, pushing myself to be the best artist and person I can be. I am very proud of myself and the artist I have become, I believe that seventh-grade Amelie would be, too.
Shoutouts:
Mr. Thomas: You were one of the first math teachers to actually teach me, and help me understand what I was learning. I’ll miss our A block conversation, maybe you can come to one of my art shows or something. you made my two years here memorable.
Mr. Miller: All though your class was a lot, i enjoyed listening to you stories and talking about art with you. thank you for making this year a little less miserable.
Ms. Terhune, Ms. Sosa: you guys were some of my biggest support’s through out the two long years i’ve been at RHP. i genuinely don’t think i would have made it this far without you guys thank you.
My Friends: throughout my time at RHP, i've met many people, and made lots of friends. you all have had an impact on my life in your own way. thank you for that.
Kanon: although you are not here right now, I want to let you know I love you. you’ve been my best friend for almost 11 years. And we’ve been through so much together. I’m so lucky to have you in my life.
Madonna: you’ve done so much for me through out the years. Weather it was picking me up from practice or giving me life advice or just making me laugh. thank you for everything you’ve done for me. i love you.
Lucas: you’ve really grown up to be your own person. And I don’t say a lot but I’m proud of you. I know things can get hard but you can do it. I promise we’ll play valorant or something before I leave. I love you.
Mom: you’ve been literally my biggest supporter throughout my 18 years of life. I know I’ve made things extremely difficult for you at times, and I’m sorry for that. I really appreciate you not giving up on me and trying to help me regardless of how frustrated I make you. I love you so much mom and I miss you a lot in college.